Cross Gordon, ’24

Dear Freshman, 

Welcome to H-F. I hope your year has been going well. If not here some free advice to help you get through your next 4 years of high school.

Things to avoid:

• Falling in the biopond
  • We have a path for a reason
• Getting stung by bees
  • H-F’s bees are friendly as long as you are. 
• Mixing up upper and lower G
  • Here’s a tip: upper G is on top

If your ever late to class here are some excuses to avoid: 

• I fell in the biopond
• I got stung by a bee
• I mixed up upper and lower G. 

Do you love school? 

• Get a few tardies and you’ll get to be there for 5 hours every Saturday.

Transitioning extracurricular activities. It is preferable that you participate in as many of these as humanly possible (homework is overrated). 

• Love arguing, about everything, while talking as fast as humanly possibly can
  • Join debate
• Love bragging about your mile time. 
  • Join cross country
• Wish you could do theater ran year round
  • Join speech
• Love dressing up and shouting “objection!”
  • Join Mock Trial
• Watched too much Pirates of the Caribbean and want a pet Parrot
  • Join zoobots
• Played with toy swords as a kid
  • Join fencing 
• Nerd with a photographic memory? 
  • Join scholastic bowl. 

Or start your own club (including but limited to) 

• Beekeeping club
• Synchronized swimming in the biopond
• Geography club
  • Pro tip: Viking Country is not actually a country 
  • Also: Upper G is on top

Moving onto the topic of honors societies 

• It’s preferable that you join enough of these that you have more required hours than are in the calendar year. As a result you may have to get creative with your volunteering. 
  • Hold the door open for your mother. Volunteering
  • Help your friend that fell into the biopond. Volunteering. 
  • 5 hour detention on a Saturday. Volunteering.
  • Drive your friend to the emergency room because they got stung by a bee and are allergic. Volunteering
    • The bees are friendly. I promise. 

On the topic of class rigor

• Your counselor will tell you that you need this 
  • Don’t listen to them. 

But, if you really want to know what the class levels mean I’ll tell you

CP: What happens when you drink from the water fountain too many times in one day. 

H: When you don’t want to make a decision between IB and AP

AP: How am I passing this class

IB: IB be BS-ing 

That’s my essential advice for surviving your 4 years at HF. Let me make myself perfectly clear. Viking Country is not actually a country.

Sincerely, Ari