Paige Barrett, '23

Somehow I love yet dread their existence. One day they embrace the living, the next they bury you six feet under the dirt of hypocrisy. For I am one of those people. Concealed by the words of those who I thought loved me the most yet those same people yearn for peace of mind.A tablespoon of lack of self control, with a teaspoon of violence, don’t forget a pinch of hatred towards your family for never giving the love you never received. I used to yearn for the feeling of love and attention. The love that makes you wanna dedicate a whole song to somebody. Attention that feeds your loneliness. Yet that love was a facade. A placebo digesting through me. That love he offered was my flesh craving to be acknowledged. That attention they gave only put a bandaid over my stab wound from the compassion I never once got. You say to forgive and love those who trespassed against us but what if there are too many? Or scared if I say their names they would knock at my door begging to come back and hurt me again. Who knows the amount of destruction they will recognize against me?  So deliver me to the point where I can excuse those around me. Excuse the ones who I once put over myself. The ones who have too much power over my happiness. Protect me from those who seek vengeance and rob my joy. And forgive me if I’m one of those people.