Death

One day I woke up and I just started thinking… What happens when I die? And what I realized was the only thing humans know about death is that person is now an empty husk. A shell of their former selves that doesn’t have the ability to interact anymore. Then I thought relentlessly about what comes after, and I started searching and searching and searching for an answer! The conclusion was, how can I believe anything when everyone disagrees constantly. Should I be a Christian because it’s more “common” and “popular”? Or should I be Hindi for the sake of it? Well, the question of death didn’t leave my mind and it eventually became a stain in my head as I sat awestruck feeling as if, there wasnt an answer. I sat on my bed and started crying, the thoughts of being gone were aching as I felt that maybe I am insignificant. Then it moved to a simple breakdown of “I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die”. Well, this lasted until I cried myself to sleep. Entering the dream world as I happily flew and felt free of responsibility. The thoughts that had brought pain left me with the endless fake wind that carried me. I could do anything, but then I woke up. Tears in my eyes and a hand on my heart. The feeling of breathing was fantastic. The simple touch on my hand gave me happiness. The warmth radiating from my body that gave me a sudden burst of comfort. From then on I decided to create my own thinking to give myself peace of mind. You see if I couldn’t rely on others to tell me what happens then at least I can rely on myself. I came up with the conclusion of reincarnation as a momentum of a constantly repeating cycle. Maybe it was just a human thing to do because of self-preservation, or maybe it was the thinking that dreams of being a pirate at sea or an adventurer were just memories of myself in the past. Maybe it was to accept the fact that I may die one day. It’s weird. Now I don’t even feel death hanging from my shoulders. I actually feel relief from the thoughts of a simple conclusion.